The stuff nightmares are made of

I've been sleeping well. The ikea mattress/futon is pretty comfy, and even though the slipcover is about as gentle and soothing on the skin as a cardboard loofah, I'm able to fall asleep and wake up right when I'm supposed to. This restfulness will all change because I've just seen this: a bowl with feet by Dylan Kendall

Terror. Inducing.
Just because you can put feet on something does not mean you should.

The road ahead

At least this time, I have an excuse for not posting recently. This blogger is now in Minnesota for the summer, having driven 2000 miles in 48 hours to get here.
A couple of things to look forward to:
Laptop version 1.0 is on its way out. Once I get the new one, I'm uploading a backlog of photos. Cool stuff abounds.
In just over a month, this blog will be going international. I'm studying abroad for a semester. Where? It's a secret... I'll let y'all know when I get there.

Okay, let's get to some actual content.
I sometimes I look at houses for sale because like to pretend I actually have money. This leads to unpleasant surprises.

Now that is an imposing entrance. This house could work, I said, throwing my imaginary pile of hundred dollar bills in the air.

Ooh, it's well landscaped. Not strictly my style but it works well for the neighborhood.

The rest of the house is motivated seller beige, but hardwood floors throughout. I'm liking this more and more.



















I just choked on my imaginary beluga caviar.
What. The. Crap. Does the homeowner really like the renaissance fest?

I'm drowning in knockoff old world furniture. The last vanity had the ostentatious dial turned up to 11, this one might be a solid 6, but that still doesn't excuse touching the ostentatious dial. Only Gucci is allowed to touch that dial, and even they don't turn it up that far anymore.

I'm so glad I saved my imaginary 1.1 million.

The website Texts From Last Night lets me live vicariously through others' wanton debauchery. One text featured on the site read "I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed."

And then we get to this room, featured on Apartment Therapy.


This is what happened when Tim Burton had a show on the History Channel.

More ugly wallpaper

A striking design element captures your attention.

This wallpaper holds your eyeballs hostage and refuses to let them go. I keep trying to direct my gaze to the relative safety of the cabinets, but this wallpaper refuses to release its deathgrip on my retinas.
Image taken from Desire to Inspire

How not to bring nature into your home

from The Daily Telegraph,
A designer has come up with the idea of a bath-mat that is made of moss, and will be hydrated by the water dripping from your body.
It's non-slip, its good for the environment and it needs minimal care. However, it's the answer to a question that nobody ever asked, nor would ever ask. Something about this strikes me as similar to the Flintstones, where animals would do menial tasks. Absorbing moisture seems the perfect task to outsource to a plant.
Though knowing just how good running barefoot through grass feels, if this is just as soft I'm half-tempted to get one.

Wallpaper, part 1 of many

Please, do not do this to a room.

Wallpaper is like the Force: it can be used for good or for evil. This room comes straight from the mind of Vader himself. The print on the wallpaper is bad enough, but the wainscoting also needs serious explaining. We could pretend that the wallpaper was put up after the wainscoting, in a fit of extreme emotional duress, but the sort of person who would willingly combine those two colors on a single piece of wood trim should not be trusted with small children.

Also, is it just me, or does the wallpaper print look like it's staring at you?

Wallpaper: Basso and Brooke for Graham Brown