bold, daring and wrong, kitchen edition

This kitchen, coming to us courtesy of Apartment Therapy is tonight's Bold, daring and wrong case study. Now is it just me, or does the photo/wallpaper make the room look like its only 6 feet tall? I should probably thank the designer for keeping the cabinet face a light color because anything else would have been sensory overload.
The bench has to go. Small space, awkward layout... yeah, cramming a bench in there is not making cooking any easier. The bench makes me feel like I'm making dinner in an envelope.
A mirrored frame can create visual interest and add a focal point to a room. But only if the frame is reflecting something interesting. Here, it looks to be... more of that print. You might as well have an empty frame.

More ugly wallpaper

A striking design element captures your attention.

This wallpaper holds your eyeballs hostage and refuses to let them go. I keep trying to direct my gaze to the relative safety of the cabinets, but this wallpaper refuses to release its deathgrip on my retinas.
Image taken from Desire to Inspire

Wallpaper, part 4 of many

It'll never work, they said. But he showed them. A house, entirely from Lego. Construction would have gone a lot faster if they could only find that red piece that they saw like fifty times when they didn't need it.
Image from Apartment Therapy

Wallpaper, part 3 of many

Flavor Paper's Vapor pattern is pretty 1970s. On a scale from 1 to Avocado green kitchen appliances, it rates a solid 7. That's enough to be concerned about, but not enough to be wholly indefensible.
Case in point:

Better Living Through Design points in the direction of this kitchen. I like the way the pattern doesn't call a lot of attention to itself, but still does a good job of breaking up the monotony of the cabinets. Compare to this version from the 70s:

The good news is that this time around, we're learning our lessons.
Ugly version of the Vapor courtesy of Apartment Therapy

More on mixing patterns

Rule 1: Patterns with similar color schemes and shapes coordinate.
Rule 2: Just because they coordinate, doesn't mean you can do this to a room:

There are areas where there is no pattern, if you can believe that. They're so outnumbered that all they can do is ride it out.
Bedrooms are supposed to be places of relaxation. All I know is that if I went to sleep here, I'd have visions of blue flowers dancing in my head forever.
And the solution to incorporating patterned bedspreads is easy.

Wallpaper, part 2 of many

Poor bathroom. You could have had it so much better. Too-small mirror and weird metal cabinet over the toilet are hindrances, but bathrooms have overcome worse to become truly great. Then your owner decided to post up wallpaper that is covered in the flarg flower from planet Zebulon 9. (on Zebulon 9, flowers look at you!)
Bathroom, your owner might be an alien.

Casasugar feels that this style might be a bit much for small bathrooms, and should only be used in powder rooms and half baths. I think they're forgetting a crucial detail: it should only be used in powder rooms and half baths that are on the planet Mars.
This image comes from housetohome.co.uk

Inspiration

Now this is not a recent photo. This is from the horrible 70s. However, it's being used to illustrate the idea of covering the walls with fabric, as an easy way to It's an inspiration.

Really, the only thing this pattern is inspiring me to do is go drive out to the country, find a field of flowers and DESTROY ALL OF THEM. This fabric has ruined an entire species of plant forever. Even looking at it makes my allergies flare up.

In all fairness, the idea is sound. Please look at Monika's Post at Apartment Therapy for tips on how to use this technique.

Wallpaper, part 1 of many

Please, do not do this to a room.

Wallpaper is like the Force: it can be used for good or for evil. This room comes straight from the mind of Vader himself. The print on the wallpaper is bad enough, but the wainscoting also needs serious explaining. We could pretend that the wallpaper was put up after the wainscoting, in a fit of extreme emotional duress, but the sort of person who would willingly combine those two colors on a single piece of wood trim should not be trusted with small children.

Also, is it just me, or does the wallpaper print look like it's staring at you?

Wallpaper: Basso and Brooke for Graham Brown